so yesterday I was confronted by something I truly never thought I would have to face in my lifetime. something that women faced you know during the 1900's right around the time of sufferage. But lo and behold sadly it rears its ugly face in 2008. Yesterday I was told that my leadman( who is the guy who reports directly to me) was talking with one of the on-campus operations managers( who is the position I report to but no my boss) and was telling him that he hopes I am leaving soon because he wants to get a dude supervisor in this position. And he doesn't ever want to work for any more B*tches again. Instead of the operations manager taking up for me and telling him not to talk like that, the ops manager simply responds " get used to it, they are all gonna be women from now on". WOW. Is all I have to say. Can i just say that deflated me flat to the ground. I have literally never felt so abused, misunderstood, trampled, and discarded as I did in that moment. The shocking thing is that I CANNOT believe that people in this day and age ACTUALLY still feel like this. Maybe it is just me being naive but I have thought up until this point how far America has come in its discrimination. I mean I know we are by no means perfect but I felt like we have made great strides. but now i just don't know. I mean one of the highest positions on the campus did not evens stick up for me. I truly expect that from my leadman because let's face it....i don't think he was taught any better and he has issues with his wife which I believe lead to his issues with women.....but the ops manager. HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER. Just imagine that if this is happening to me because I am a woman, just imagine how hard it still must be to be an African American woman in this country. I truly feel like this experience has helped me to gain a LITTLE insight into that situation.( notice the emphasis on the word little) I guess my frustration is simply at the fact that I am being hated for something I cannot change. No matter what I do I cannot ungirl myself(ok that probably sounds weird but you know what I mean), and that means that no matter what I do these people will never accept me. Pretty depressing. Anyways if anyone reading this(out of all two of you) has had any similar experiences or can encourage me in any way I would greatly appreciate it.

" No one can make you feel inadequate without your consent"

I am clinging to this quote during this....maybe you will be inspired by it as well! *



so I am getting an all-expenses paid trip to Oklahoma this this Friday night for an entire week!!!!! YAHOO!!!!! My work is sending me out there to fill in for a supervisor. I am kinda nervous because I do not know ANYTHING about the account but hopefully it will not be too tricky!!! But i am just so excited....I will have so much time to be able to hang out with all my friends!!! YEAH!!!!

Too bad I didn't know that I was going to be going to Oklahoma City until this week....I could have saved Alison time and money from coming to visit until latee! Oh well I certainly don't mind seeing her twice in two weeks!! FUN FUN!!!! Anyways we had a blast this past weekend!!! I just love my besties...they know me so well and I never have to try with them and it is really nice!!!!

If you think about it pray for me and Jonathan. We are taking a pretty big role in our Sunday School class and I have to say I am slightly nervous about it. I know that God has ordained and everything will work out fine, but it requires me to get outta my shell every Sunday and introduce myself to the new people who come to the class. SCARY!!! of course I don't mind it so much when I have a reason to introduce myself...and I have to call people every week.....and the Lord knows I am not good on the phone....but He will be made strong when I am weak!!!

Just a little song to finish my blog in an appropriate way.....OOOOOOOOOO KLAHOMA where the wind comes sweeping down the plains...the waving wheat sure smells sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain....OOOOOOO KLAHOMA every night my honey and I sit alone and talk.......I don't know the rest!!


fly away...

SO ifs official.....my first hurricane EVER!! Who knew it only took one year of living in Florida to experience the anger from the seas. Oddly( and yes I know this is odd because my husband lectured me on how odd it was when I told him) I am actually kinda excited about the hurricane. Not that I would EVER want anyone to die or anyone's house to be destroyed or anything bad to happen but now that Fay is coming I am kinda excited to see what it will look like and to say I have been through a hurricane. Is that dumb? Don't judge me. It is funny though because apparently this hurricane isn't even a bad one. It is pretty mild and people in Florida are FREAKING out. Someone told me that Walmart is completely out of water. And i am wondering if I am the only normal one who did not stock up on cases of water or if I am the only one who is too naive to take the precautionary steps. Whoops I guess we will find out. But they are saying that it won't be bad enough to knock the power out so I am not too worried. I really hope this hurricane gets the heck outta dodge by Thursday. Sheena and Alison are flying in for the weekend and I AM SO EXCITED!! i hope it works out and they still get to come. These two girls are my favorite in the entire world. Just being with them is such a breath of fresh air for me. I have truly missed hanging out with girls who know you better than you know yourself. That's how these girls are to me. Pray that hurricane Fay will get to steppin!!


are these people even human?

ok so normally i DO NOT watch the Olmpics. Like ever. In the past I just never could get into it. And of course I married the stinkin poster child for the Olympics. Jonathan LOVES it. I mean like every sport he watches, even the stuff that I don't think many people watch. (like synchronized diving) so it has been on in our house 24/7. I have decided now that the Olympics is absolutely GREAT!! I love it(even synchronized diving...go figure). watching the Men's 400 Relay sealed the deal for me! What an incredible race. And i loved the way they celebrated! Incredible!It seems weird to me that Michael Phelps is just this normal 23 year-old who went to Michigan.......I feel like he isn't a normal person....like he is maybe a super hero? Anyways, hands down favorite olympic sport is beach volleyball. Misty May and Keri Walsh are the super duper dream team! They are totally going to win the gold. They are so good! Jonathan and I are still trying to figure out which random sport we can pick up to make it into the olympics in four years. Badminton anyone? haha!



what a stinkin horrible word. probably the one thing you would never want to think that you are or have someone call you. but you know i think my adulthood has plummeted me deeply into this sorry state of being. i have realized that while I am 23 and completely healthy, I choose more often than not to sit on the couch and watch whatever genius show i think i need to watch instead of picking myself up from the couch and going outside to be active. well no more. i desire to be more active. now it is just a matter of telling my head to shut up when it tells me it is tired.

we took a love languages test the other day and my top two were words of encouragement and touch. the second on is pretty funny considering I really don't like to be touched all that much. but hey i do enjoy a good hug!


broken vessel

Just recently we have had some seriously cool God moments where He is asking us to raise up in our local church and serve in a big way. It actually terrifies me a bit. I completely feel like I am so unworthy to serve my church. I feel like I am such a washed up used up vessel. I just feel incredibly blessed to have God put His beloved church body in my care. It is really humbling that God is using this broken woman to give such huge responsibility to. I can't wait to see how He is going to work all of this out and how this broken vessel can be a testimony to His greatness. PRAISE THE LORD!